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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in aka texas mike's LiveJournal:

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Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
11:30 pm
So I'm living in North Hollywood and I got a job with a publicist and I go to premieres and afterparties and I'm still drinking and smoking too much and then I met this squirrel and he was like WEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

And Kerry lost the election and apparently there are a lot of idiots who think moral issues are more important than economic and international issues and all the activists might as well have just shut the hell up and I met this 40 year old cher-looking lady at a party while I was getting smashed and she was right-wing and she was like WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!

And my room's kinda messy and I'm behind on contacting a bunch of friends and I need to pay bills but at least my fishie's still alive and I got a plant and then I logged on to friendster and realized it was super gay and then I remembered this site and how noone reads it anymore and I thought it was a good idea to post again and I thought I'd mention how people down here are less sharp than people up north but it turns out that the women here are just manipulative to the point of wanting your money as opposed to wanting validation and then someone whispered under their breath "jeez are you bitter much?" and I was like WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Sunday, May 9th, 2004
1:08 am
So I went to dinner with Andrew WK and Melissa (sometihng german, bassist from Smashing Pumpking and Hole.) It was nice to see a few faces and philosophies out of the music industry that weren't completely plastic. Unfortunately, that doesn't apply to the regular human being. She's still with that idiot.. I guess sincerity doesn't triumph over the glory of being a fake piece of shit with the popularity of a high-school second horn. eh, fuck it. I'm just bitching. At least I get my ultra-entertaining robotic vaccuum soon.
Thursday, April 1st, 2004
1:37 am
So I have extra time this quarter to fully appreciate the evils of most of the female gender (except for T). I've always wondered if I could get more bitter.. and yes, apparently I can.
I guess adapting is part of being human. At least I can see the proverbial 'light'. On a semi-related note, anyone with a "baby momma" needs to be publicly executed in the street. If you're going to add another member to society without any intentions of helping raise the crotch-spawn besides boosting your own ego as inspired by bling-bling rap, you are a piece of shit. Seriously, people actually strive toward this lifestyle; I've seen it.
False things must perish.
(THAT'S NOT A DEATH THREAT, MERELY A SUGGESTION)
Saturday, February 14th, 2004
1:28 am
my life is like an after school special.
I am very busy, taking 20 units, including an intense journalism/media theory class and a film special effects class (so i can make people fly and stuff). i did get a new radio show, it is called "After Dinner Lawn Social." i play contemporary lounge and jazz, and accidentally pissed off half of Santa Cruz by cutting out the news feed's pladge drive. basically, all these michael-moore-loving stereotypical activist/liberal start calling up and berating me, saying i need psychological treatment because I cannot even detect the extreme levels of sarcasm in my own voice. (actually, I take that as a compliment) so anyhow, it raised a big stink, but i'm pretty sure i defended myself pretty well and don't have to worry about anything. anything outside of school and the radio station is either a) nonexistant because I have to fucking work all the time b) nonexistant because i'm condensing leisure time through chemical means (i.e. getting drunk and/or high) c) awkwardly pursuing intimate relationships I have no time but much need for OR d) sleeping. but yes, my own life and those of others surrounding me read like after school specials.
Thursday, January 22nd, 2004
2:28 am
I'm busy as a motherfucker this quarter. taking 20 units. 5 units of which I WOULD RATHER NOT FUCKING TAKE BECAUSE YOU DUMB BITCHES DIDN'T TELL ME I'D HAVE TO TAKE AN EXTRA QUARTER OF YOUR WASTE-OF-TIME THESIS CLASS. Journalism really takes up a lot of time. I'm just not used to being accountable for what I write like in Film. Still, I'm learning a lot.. basically how the world is even much more fucked up than I thought it was. Well. not as fucked up as it is partial.. But then I really don't give a fuck about politics anymore, since there are enough idealists out there who are willing to take on the pointless task of giving a voice to those unheard. Tell me when you've got an effective plan to subvert the power structure, guys, because until then it's basically just whining.
Oh, and if you're just a bunch of equality seeking commies, WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU WHEN THEY WERE REPEALING THE DEATH TAX?!?!?! Such a repeal essentially equals the continuation of our Americanized version of aristocracy. Hell, I don't care, since it benefits me personally, but I guess you were too concerned with popularizing organic food or whatever toughy-feely bullshit is in vogue.

And so goes another livejournal update. Forgive me father, for I have ranted.
Sunday, January 4th, 2004
3:52 am
Oh, and fuck Ska.
I'm sick of these Saved by the Bell watching assholes that get off on making no-wave ska for a dead subculture. OH HOLY FUCK, IT'S JUST SO WACKY! LOOK HOW WACKY THEY ARE! Granted it did start Reggae, because Jamaica was so fucking hot they started playing ska slower back in the day, but isn't THAT an equally trite and meaningless medium for conveying anything besides smoking weed or "skanking?" People who like ska are the same people that "get" what the fuck is so great about Homestar Runner. Except for you T, for you are a wiser person than I to whom I owe my life, and hundreds of free lunches.
3:44 am
Friendster is the gayest thing ever.
Goddamnit, my little goldfish died. He was a black moor goldfish like the one I had as a kid, that I named "Airwolf" because.. well he was painted like the helicopter on the TV show with the guy that beat his wife a lot or something. Anyway, he lasted quite a long time considering he had ick and I was gone for a week and a half, but he did have vacation food.

Oh, and Friendster is the gayest thing ever. It's slow, and then these jackasses keep updating testimonials to people just to be on the top of the testimonial list. What a bunch of attention whores, plus it's slow as fuck.

I just got a T-Mobile sidekick. Oh yeah. Suck it AT&T! I can get an IP address, anywhere on the internet, and even SSH and AIM at 56k speeds and UNLIMITED DATA plus 560 voice minutes for $40 a month. That is so cool. It gets porn too. So yes, I'm the man with my material possesions, and I really don't want to go back to school. At least I got 2 new years kisses!
Tuesday, December 16th, 2003
12:57 am
Well, I'm down with influenza, so I have a valid excuse to take 3 times as many Cold Caps as I should and subsequently trip out on a dissociative.

This last quarter has been one of the most intense in my entire college career.

Mainly, because my participation in the Journalism Minor (the last of its kind in the entire UC system) which basically meant I had to be responsible for my statements, having valid sources and whatnot..

Then, there was this Experimental film class.. where we got to see a buncha cool films, and some "experimental" gay porn too!

So yeah.. bleh.
Friday, November 21st, 2003
12:24 am
nothin new. doin hella shit. normally it's a copout when I don't want to talk to family members.. but this time it's real. i was just informed of a 60 page thesis requirement for my goddamn journalism minor, which is the last in the entire UC system, and I'm in the last generation of it before cancellation. anyhoo...
drinkin as usual.
Oh, I'm the same height as Lee Harvey Oswald! I guess that's kinda cool if you subscribe to the whole Napoleon complex theory, even though I'm not a dirty, dirty commie. Yep, I've got nothin.
Wednesday, November 12th, 2003
11:05 pm
So I was drunk one night and some friends of mine convinced me to sign up for Friendster.
My impression is that it's a popularity contest combined with a singles service with swinger overtones (WTF is with the 'open marriage' designation next to 'single' and 'in a relationship'?) and a wannabe makeoutclub feel.
Anyhoo, the servers are so goddamn slow that the people you hear about who 'go on it all the time' are probably just jerkin it waiting for the damn pages to load.
So, just for fun, if you're on Friendster, just search for "mizike sneed" and i'll give you a cool testimonial full of Vietnam war lingo.

crim's girlie wanted to see a picture of me, and so I don't become one of those people that posts pictures of their favorite animals/media artifacts/cartoons in place of their real photos, here is one:

suck it dolphin!
1:51 am
Ok Maybe it's because I'm drunk and high that i'm thinking this..
My family can't fucking cook! It's only as I realize that the cheap pasta and canned sauce spaghetti I made DRUNK AND HIGH is the same that I was fed growing up. Even Grandma can't make an appetizing meal. I think I represent a new evolutionary advance in my lineage, because I've discovered the art of Barbecue. Screw all you not-grilling-over-a-flame-while-I-smoke-and-drink-a-beer type of cooking people. Barbecue's the shit. I don't even have a hankerin' for a steak house as I've got one right out my backdoor!
Red Meat rules, and is more ethical than poultry for you bleedin' hearts!
Oh, and I feel a cold comin on..
Saturday, November 8th, 2003
6:42 am
my god, I'm almost hitting a month between updates.
Luckily for you people, I did some blow tonight, so i'm coked out, drunk, and high at 6:43 am. but it's all good.
bein' more social with tha ladies.. albeit more antisocial than most guys they're probably used to.

dressed up as Viet Cong soldier for halloween.. w/ hat, black pajamas, and a fake AK-47. got drunk, of course.

been busy as a motherfucker with school as of late. just writing this and celebrating a fucking 5 day break between school related stress.

Still have the radio show and stuff.. Trying to inject some type of self-reflexive humor into bureaucracy.

Same ol' Cockteases.. Some with different accents.

Drinkin' wayyy too much.

Just wrote a scathing editorial letter to some chick that writes for the campus newspaper.. should get printed.
Friday, October 17th, 2003
12:51 am
Oh goddamn, I'd update more if i wasn't busy (and drinking) all the time.
So i'm finishing the ol' journalism minor, that was the last of its sort to be killed off in the entire UC system. Basically, I'll be one of the last Journalism students ever to graduate from a UC college. Maybe I'd give more of a fuck other than its rarity in the marketplace if they weren't trying to teach us to be sesame-street leftist idealists. I mean come ON, some of the people are so ignorant. This alma mater chick shows up and presents a documentary about a town in texas conspiring to rid its 5000 person population of the black people through false accusations, etc. OH GOD I'M SO FUCKING SHOCKED. well, most of 'em were. These people, however, didn't realize that most people in that backwoods buttfuck part of the country, that it's a faux pas to schedule a KKK rally on the same day as a High School football game.
anyhoo..
It's different here with all my friends gone. I gotta be a little more fake for the sake of social interaction. And ol' Space Cadet Lauren and some other outcasts is tryin' to get a piece of the ol' Mike-train. As if that's not disturbing enough, I'm at the point in life not where the women are looking to 'experiment', but are looking for the MRS degree. I swear it's more creepy 'cuz it's like a belated form of puberty. On a lighter note, the 40+ year old burnouts at happy hour have accepted me into their clique. Oh, and my new shrink looks kinda like Rachael Ray. Alllllright!
Wednesday, September 24th, 2003
1:25 am
Ok, so I've figured out the most accurate measurement for gauging the collective consciousness of popular culture: TBS

Seriously tho, it's the epitome of television mediocrity. i.e. it played 'High School High,' a movie waay head of its time in terms of portraying white culture interacting equally with the ghetto and whatnot.. and granted I'm drunk, but it's TOTALLY the cutting edge for suburbia.

I'm drunk, and I'm right, AND I got my heat shield for my Mossberg!!!
Sunday, September 21st, 2003
12:27 am
HOLY FUCK, A LIVEJOURNAL UPDATE!

Whelp, got back from a date with a little midwestern girl. Went well the first 3/4's and then just kinda dropped off into a barrier-crossing fest. I dunno. Surprisingly, this hasn't really got me down, as I'm much more honest with myself and others. I don't know if it's something I did, or didn't do. I guess we just didn't have enough in common. It's weird tho, because any woman I'm willing to go on a date with must be unique enough to appreciate something. I was going to put a comment about domestic violence and faithfulness, but I shan't...
anyhoo.
I'm so excited about getting this Danish film "Gay Niggers from Outer Space..." which should be done soon. I think I'll try to organize a public screening. I can't wait to post flyers.
Sunday, August 24th, 2003
1:01 am
bourgie complaints are SO the most valid.

so i just heard about a murder/suicide in an acquaintence's family. man, that sucks; and that emotional observation makes me almost human. i'm gonna quit talking about it lest it catches up with me.

shit. bachelorette party goin' on down the street. can't be nothin' compared with a bachelor party tho. them womenfolk may have straws shaped like penises, but what happens at bachelor party, stays at bachelor party. all i know is, stripper powder fragrance should be made into an aerosol room deodorizing spray.

i am so ahead of my time.

i was watching an Attacking Animals marathon today on FX. Man, those animals are always attacking. Especially horses. Once, I was riding a horse, and the damn thing bolted for home and I couldn't stop it because we didn't put an "inhumane" bit in, and there was a barely-open gate ahead, so it turned really fast and I was flung off and hit my back against a fence post with nails sticking out of it. And that's when I said "Fuck that" and left horses to paraders, retards, and nostalgics. they have it comin'.
Friday, August 22nd, 2003
2:02 am
drinking alone is no longer a taboo, even conceptually, for me.

so i've been helping my grandmother move out of her house for the past month or so, i don't know why.

anyhoo, the reason for this post is that i just finished cleaning out one of her fridges. she's a proponent of the depression-era mentality of extreme conservation and whatnot.
NOTHING EVER GETS THROWN OUT.
i created an 'evidence shelf' consisting of, but not limited to, peanut butter from '86, TANG (and not the good kind), various canned fishballs, etc.
man, if it wasn't for the vodka, i'd throw up all the time..
oh, did i mention she's a fucking MILLIONAIRE??
it makes me never going to quit smoking or live a healthy lifestyle.
oh, and i didn't know stuff could mold in the fridge.
*shudder*
oh, and for 10 pills of zoloft? $34.

oh wait,
JIMMY FALLON'S A BITCH.
evolution is so not doing its job.
Monday, August 18th, 2003
2:18 am
propacet, bottle of champagne, 2 shots of tequila and half a seroquel.

if i know you and you somehow have been reading this and i've been out of touch, then i'm in a self-imposed exile, or a vacation of sorts.

sometimes during the day i think of things to write on here, but then i don't.

once again threatened by the 40 yo low life trailer trash down the street, for some reason (and i'm in the nice part of town) he's named vern. you talk to the cops and they go "oh, vern? vern x? yeah, we know him." anyhow, he only calls when he's drunk after 12.

you know, sometimes I'm disappointed that I've missed Jerry (Springer), but then i realize i'm at Wal Mart. oh fuck, i just realized that reminded me of beef jerky. brb.

hell yeah, jalapeno.

fuck, that's hot.

oh, i know.

what's with all the prissy-white-person-meeting-a-magical-black-person-and-becoming-culturally-enlightened-and-enjoying-hip-hop-movies as of late? Marci X? Bringing down the House? Roots?
I mean, come on.
If pop culture's finally getting around to dealing with these particular issues, and it's always wayy late, then it proves my point that the soul of hip hop died when god invented the wigger. but the image hasn't died, and you can see that when you turn on MTV / go to the mall. way to like.. rebel against the mainstream society and shit.. street nihilism is the ultimate form of cred.
and that, ladies and gentlemen, is why I have essentially dedicated my life to escapism.

oh yeah, and what happened to all the hot waitresses? or decent looking waitresses?
maybe they're all in europe. they just put hot hostesses up front to trick you. and all the chauvenist pigs?
and you expect me to tip %30 and you only serve pepsi products and tell your manager when i slap your ass and don't refill my drink?

pres. bush visited san diego a couple days ago. the freakin' local coverage looked like Fox News. welcome to mainstream america.. you know, the one with the majority of simple-minded religious idealists that actually vote every now and then?
Sunday, August 17th, 2003
3:02 am
a'ight

-haven't seen any indie people for a couple months, feels good
-buyin' a shotgun (hopefully a .12ga mossberg pump action)
-just got threatened by the 40 y-o trailer trash down the street
-sick of senior citizens due to overexposure
*currently in self-imposed exile from most human contact*
-ran out of zoloft, so cranky. as a result of crankiness:
the mattress industry is more corrupt than the automobile industry.. i'll explain later.
totally got a pic of vicki carr in a little bathing suit in the 70s.
what'd i get done this summer? i dunno..
hopefully not addicted to opiate painkillers! (we shall see)
that's all!
Thursday, August 7th, 2003
10:44 pm
whelp, won't be driving on benzodiazepines anymore. eh, who am i kidding?
i didn't get into a wreck or anything, but there are skid marks on the road.. damn slow people in the 30 zone turning into the liquor store.
other than that, just goin back to cali...
yup. i reckon.
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